My Conscious Decision to Stay Single

I’m not one to force a decision I let things come naturally and I do what I feel is right for me but for now I’ve made the decision to stay single.

First of all this is my personal choice and not one I’m trying to influence on anyone because it works for me not necessarily everyone else. It’s okay to be single and its great being in a relationship, As a 22-year-old woman I think it’s important to highlight a few things; What I’ve learnt and what I’ve figured out in my perfect timing. I read that you 20’s are meant to be your ‘Selfish Years’ and to be honest I do feel selfish. A couple of years ago being selfish would’ve not been okay with me, I would say I’m the complete opposite…very very selfless in fact. However selfless am, I just NOW know when to think for myself and being selfish has never felt better.

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The reasons for my decision 

My Time

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I want to spend my time doing what I want when I want to do it, I’m not willing to negotiate my own time with someone on how it should be spent. Some days I don’t feel like doing anything and if I want to stay in bed I will but when you’re with someone you kinda have to dedicate your time to them so it only becomes partly your choice.
Other day’s I might fancy a spontaneous day and they might just want to stay in bed and I dont want to be a naggy girlfriend that gets her own way all of the time, No matter what anyone says you are partly restricted… it’s our time to do what we want, Am I right?

I’m Exploring and Exploring My Purpose

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I am going travelling and I am focusing on my dreams, I’m doing it all for the experience and for alone time so I can figure things out. I’m not ‘finding myself’ I know who I am and I know what I want I’m just gathering inspiration for future business plans and getting together my 5 year plan. I want to be free to see the world, I want to challenge and test my own abilities to push myself to do the things that scare me and yes, I am scared but I’m getting a frill from it.

Self Love

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This one is very important, I often have waves of admiration for myself. I am extremely proud of my attitude, hard work ethic, passion and achievements so far but I find it very hard to accept my outer self, the way I look and the way I feel. It’s all well someone telling me I’m beautiful and saying I look good but I don’t see it or feel it. I can’t let someone love me when I don’t 100% love myself, I’m still to find this within myself and until then I ain’t going to be ready to give myself to someone even if they can tell me sweet nothings about myself everyday.

When I get to the point where I feel like I can look at myself and be like girrrrl you like bloody HOT, I’ll take it – Sign me up.

Opportunities

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I want to take every opportunity that’s given to me without worrying about another person or without having to confirm with them if it’s okay to do so. I mean if someone offers me the opportunity to go to New York to work then how could I expect my + 1 (partner) to pick up their life and move with me? Like I recently said no matter how supportive someone is of you being committed to another person still restricts you from doing certain things, I have a strong vision for what’s to come in terms of my career and personal plans, I just want to give everything my 100%.

Get My Shit Together

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I don’t want anyone saying I wouldn’t have what I have if it wasn’t for them, I need to stand on my own two feet and achieve my own things and create my own life before sharing it with someone… I know most people will say, ‘ no it’s nice to grow together and succeed’ which is fine.. If I do find myself getting in a relationship then there’s nothing more I’d want than to support someone like they’d support me but I think you can get quite dependent on someone no matter how independent you are… you’ll find them doing loads of things for you, maybe little but they’re he most effective.

I promise myself to get a few things in place first, whether that would be my business plan, savings, a home and even confidence

x

I was a little unsure if I should post this in case I found myself in a relationship sooner rather than later and would look a little silly but this is me, currently in the moment.
I’m not and haven’t even been dating, I’m literally that single girl that communicates as though she’s in a relationship, I forget to text and I get bored of speaking to people extremely easy and I don’t feel as though there’s any reason to small talk over a consecutive amount time when there’s nothing coming from it.

I hope you’ve enjoyed the read, I’m interested in knowing your thoughts… can you relate, do you agree? I’m open to have a conversation, leave a comment below.

Much love to you all, Becky x

Other Reads you might like from other bloggers – 

Celebrating Female Friendships – BethLouisex

Booking Your First Solo Trip – Montzxo

Welcome to the world of Casual Dating – Flashedbydt

Twitter : @beckyrosecarver
Lifestyle Instagram – @beckyrosecarver 
Event Instagram – @eyefuleventsx

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31 thoughts on “My Conscious Decision to Stay Single

  1. Fair play, I feel the same way at the moment too. You’ll always have the option to be “a naggy girlfriend” if/when you want to be 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Becky, this is a brilliant post.

    Another one shared in my group chat, you don’t need to be in a relationship to feel a certain way, you must create happiness for yourself and you must achieve your own goals before you can give your everything to someone else

    I think everyone worries about being single now when really it’s the best time to be if you haven’t already met someone

    You’re just the best x x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this amazing comment, I’m glad i’m popping up in girls group chats for good reasons haha

      I completely agree with what you’ve said – People are scared of being alone and it’s insane to feel that way so young

      x x

      Like

  3. I agree with all of this, especially the part about needing to stand on your own before sharing a life with someone else. I think everyone has different approaches, but I like to think of relationships as two whole people coming together, not two halves completing each other.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello!

      Thank you for your comment… You have perfectly hit the nail on the head with that ‘two whole people coming together, not two halves completing each other’ That’s exactly how I imagine it to be

      Becky x x

      Like

  4. Yessss, I can relate hunni and if others think or say your being selfish oh well. But as I did the same, you will come towards the ends of your 20’s blissful, grown in ways you never would of imagined with so much flair, life, happiness and flourishment you will be grateful you posted this and accomplished the goals you set out whether quickly/slowly or big/small. Go ahead ‘be you’ and do it the best way you know how. My motto for when I did all that and more, made me so thankful I certainly did and it still is now ‘only you can live for you’ and I haven’t reached my 30’s yet. But I soon will and now I have so much experience, sightings and ways of life/cultures/people across the world with self-love/confidence and assurance it good burst with much more characteristics obtained over the years. It’s positioned me now to be settled and start another chapter in my life to pass on with new adventures as I do. So go live life for ‘you’ sweetie x (sorry for the long post, I can write for England ha! 😂😊)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is the most purest loveliest reply ever, I loved every word you have said… it’s nice to know others can relate and when you answer with this it makes it 10x better!

      Don’t appologise for the long post it was beaut to read and very remeasuring, ”Go ahead ‘be you’ and do it the best way you know how” what a great motto.

      I’m going to copy and paste this and save this forever

      Thank you x x x

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow, every one of your points resonates with me. I’m 23 and have been single since I graduated high school. I did go through a few years of dealing with mental issues and now I want to get my life together and do things without needing to deal with all the relationship stuff. I figured when it’s time and it’s time and I personally don’t think it is yet.

    Love this post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello lovely!

      Thank you for your comment, I am glad you could relate!

      I appreciate your honesty about your mental health, your time will be your time and you’ll know when it is, No rush, embrace life and take it step by step x x x

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Love this! Even thought I’m a similar age and in a relationship I think it’s so important when you’re young to be comfortable on your own. When love is meant to happen, it will happen but you can’t have a happy relationship with someone else unless you have a happy and confident relationship with yourself! x

    Like

  7. I feel this way at the moment. I want to work on myself. I am unhappy with my body and want to feel confident in myself before I even want to be with someone else. I like being able to spend time with family and friends and not having to fit anyone else in. Don’t get me wrong some times it would be nice, but personally right now, I am happy being single. Great empowering post lovely 💕💕

    Like

    1. Hello lovely!

      i’m not going to say ‘don’t be silly you’re lovely (which you are) but I know how it feels not being comfortable within yourself, no matter what some people say sometimes you cant help how you feel… love yourself before you love anyone else.

      I love that you’re happy doing you, when it’s out time we will know x x x

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Loved this post girl! It isn’t particularly relevant to me currently as I am now in a happy long term relationship, but I made sure that a couple of years ago I made some time for just me and was single for a period of time. It was so good to have that time to focus on myself and truly work out who I was as a person without anyone else. Having that time by myself meant that now I am with someone I haven’t changed to fit them because I now have a strong sense of who I am as a person from that year of being single. (if that makes sense) You do you hun! xx – https://robynpoppy.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Beautiful!!

      Thank you for your comment – It’s important people are to know people in relationships had to do the ‘single’ thing before they got there!

      It makes your relationships mean much more when you’re 50:50 with each other but 100% yourself as well

      xxxx

      Like

    1. Hello Becca,

      Thank you for your comment it means a lot to me…

      Personal development is a massive yes no matter how old a person is if it’s needed it’s needed…

      Yesss, keep an eye out for all the travel posts

      Much love x x x

      Like

  9. I just loved this one! I’m actually so glad I came across this wonderful piece of writing. I couldn’t agree more. I see myself in each line 😛 It’s liberating to be on your own and do things. It gives a sense of achievement. This also reminds me of the song by Maggie Lindemann- Pretty Girl.

    Like

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